And then He got my attention...

I am a worrier.

I worry like there's no tomorrow.

In fact, I have such incredible worrying abilities that I get myself worked up to the point that it consumes me entirely and I end up falling apart.

Because that's healthy, right?

Oopmh.

A friend posted this image this morning and I'm pretty sure it's God reaching down and smacking me upside the head, trying so hard to get my attention. And I needed it because I woke up this morning with a head full of doubt and it's making for a rough day. 

Seriously, why can't I get over myself? By worrying so much I'm basically telling God that I don't trust Him with my life - the exact opposite of what I'm trying so desperately to do! I want so badly to take my life and put it entirely in His hands but my worry is holding me back. 

My friend Jared and I were talking last night about the things we struggle with the most. For me, it's this. For him, it's anxiety. He pointed out that those two things probably aren't so different from one another and I have to agree - both are just another way to not trust our God (even when He has given us every reason in the world to do so!)

So what's our deal?

Not just Jared and me, but everyone who struggles with this kind of thing. Why are we so damn hesitant to trust? I mean my God (literally), even when things in my life have gone all pear-shaped, He has never failed me. He has given, He has taken away and when I do get over myself and leave it in His hands, there He is! Waiting for me to accept the grace He has given me.

Unbelievable! I'm such an idiot to be second guessing things so much. 

And so with all this in mind I will continue working on becoming the woman I want to be - the woman He wants me to be.

I'll also keep in mind what John Mark (the lead pastor at my church) said:

"Anxiety is temporary atheism."

Yup.